There's always that one call that sticks with you.
We run towards dangerous situations while others flee.
We try to brush it off like it's just like the "other" call. We joke with each other, because it makes it easier even if it is just for a second. It is always there taunting you in the back or your mind. We try to suppress the feelings that it gives us, and put on our "I'm all good" tough face.
After all we signed up for it, right?
We try to pray the pain away, the thoughts, and make ourselves numb to whatever we are feeling. It doesn't work.
We can't talk about it who wants to hear the gory details of the call? Who wants to know what we've seen. We don't even want to remember.
If we bring up we need help, we're fired. Most people are happy we suffer silently.
But what happens when it gets to be too much?
PTSD, depression, and suicide have gone up 20% in first responders since 2018. No one talks about it we are afraid to talk about it, and wouldn't know how to respond even if we were asked. I mean, how do you tell someone you are falling apart.
We have a heart behind the uniform. We are still human.
If you or someone you know are suffering with their mental health. There are recourses out there. Know you aren't alone. We stand together.